REVEALED: Ken Paxton’s Running List

September 27, 2022

Since Paxton’s Been Running from the Law, We Wanted to Make Sure He’s Ready

Washington, DC — On Monday, Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton was literally on the run from being served a subpoena. He was being served a subpoena (totally normal stuff!) from an abortion fund’s lawsuit against him, and he decided that as Texas’s top law enforcement officer, he would rather run than simply accept a document that was handed to him.

We know it’s a stressful time for Ken – between the FBI investigationhis indictment, and his other legal issues – so we wanted to help get a running list together for him.

  1. Mizuno Wave Rider 16 Running Shoes: Yes, the ones that Wendy Davis wore during her filibuster back in 2013! They’re awfully comfortable, Ken.

  1. Sweatbands: We know things are getting a little dicey for you legally – you’ve got all kinds of investigations hot on your tracks. You’ll need to make sure you stay cool as you run!

  1. Portable AM/FM Radio: If you want to keep up with the latest news – including questions about Texas’ draconian abortion ban that you’ve been pushing –  you’ll want to stay glued to your local AM/FM radio stations.

Texans deserve an Attorney General who isn’t running from the law.


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